Hi y’all, I haven’t blogged in a while but I felt this was necessary enough to share. I know 2017 has been tough for a lot of people, many still experiencing unfulfilled dreams. For me personally, the second half of my year started off with great hope and huge possibilities only to end in tears and despair. I thought I met the love of my life and was headed in the direction of having my own family, something I’ve wanted since I was a kid. I used to line up my dolls and name them, pretending they were my children. I even wanted 12 children at one point, my very own football or basketball team. I know, a lofty goal, right? but as a child I wanted nothing more in life than to be a wife and a mother, more than being a doctor or even being an author. Childhood dreams, maybe but I think God puts certain desires in our heart even at a very young age and even at that age, I was quite nurturing.
Any way, things didn’t quite work out the way I hoped and people can be callous with their words in saying things like it wasn’t God’s will and that’s why it happened the way it did when trying to console you. That’s the last thing to say to someone whose heart is breaking because its like pouring salt on an open wound. It only makes them hurt worse to know that God is cruel enough to break their heart and allow them to suffer in such a cruel manner when God’s very nature and character is love. My thoughts were, How can a God who supposedly loves me allow me to experience this type of pain after waiting so long for love and if it really wasn’t God’s will then why didn’t it just fizzle out, instead of things happening the way it did? But I’ve learned to separate people from God. Only God knows His will for my life and can tell me what that will is and only God knows why things happened the way they did in this relationship and ultimately, He’ll reveal that to me. I’ve learned a few lessons from this experience though that will carry me the rest of my life and hopefully will help some of you that are in relationships or seeking to be in one.
- True love isn’t easily found and should be fully protected, especially at the early stages, when found. I don’t know about y’all but I don’t love easily but I love deeply when I do. I guess that’s why this experience hurt me so deeply. I could get into who did what but I fault myself for sharing my relationship too early before it transformed into whatever it was going to be. I was so excited that I told everyone which yielded unwanted advice that I didn’t realize had gotten into my head. Ultimately, I made some decisions based on external factors instead of listening to my heart.
- Communication is key in any relationship. If you’re not fully communicating with your partner, then outside communication will filter in causing doubt and trust issues.
- Applying 1st Corinthians 13 is key and foundational in any relationship. This chapter outlines what love is and what it isn’t. If you follow it fully, you’ll never miss your way in any relationship.
I could go on and but all I know is that in Isaiah 61, God promises to give us beauty for ashes and the oil of Joy for our mourning. This is my prayer for myself and everyone out there who has grieved the loss of anything in 2017, that in 2018 (the number 8 symbolizes new beginnings) God will heal our hearts completely and let this ring true for us so that we can experience His love in our lives and be able to start life afresh.
Coincidentally, Beauty for Ashes, is the name of the new book that I’m working on. It will be out hopefully by Easter and we have a few events in the works for next year that will be posted on the website and on my facebook author page as things get finalized so stay tuned.
Finally, may 2018 be a year of beauty and Joy for all of us instead of a year of ashes and mourning. God bless you all and Happy New Year. See y’all on the other side.