I haven’t written a blog in a while, primarily because there are so many blogs out there that it tends to be overkill. People have a lot to say and things tend to get repeated over and over again. I decided to blog about relationships because of several shows I’ve seen and several interesting conversations I’ve had lately. I’ve found that a good majority of people are in the same boat when it comes to finding good relationships or making the ones they already have go the extra mile and last.

For starters, we all want good relationships, no matter how independent we are or how busy we claim to be. Everyone wants to be able to go home to someone special or at least have someone in that space they can call on to experience life with. There’s nothing in this world like feeling wanted or knowing you belong to someone especially when the feeling is mutual and reciprocated. For some though, finding love is hard and the older you are, the harder it becomes. Some, because of lack of trust from previous hurtful relationships, others, because they’re too picky or because of certain circumstances, whether it be a busy job situation or something else, you’re not still enough to connect with someone on this level.

I’ll say this, being picky is alright as long as it doesn’t leave you close minded. I just watched a Bishop T.D Jakes show segment where one woman got married for the first time at forty-seven. While we all hope and pray we don’t have to wait as long as she did, we never know what the outcome will be in our journey to find love. One thing she said that rang true for me is that she didn’t want to settle and waited for the right person and it was worth all the tears she ever shed in her quest to find love. We shouldn’t ever have to settle for less than God’s best for us but we too often do for fear that time will run out on us but we need to realize that God is able to redeem time for us and it is never too late to find true love.

In regards to issues of trust, it’s common to want to guard your heart especially if you’ve been hurt before. I know this first hand because trusting people to be who they say they are is a big deal for me. Most, present a certain persona until you get to know them and then they become something completely different from what they purported to be in the beginning. I’ve only been able to open my heart to the idea of love again recently so I fully understand those with trust issues and how hard it is to let people in. It’s okay to keep your heart guarded until you know the person you’re forging forward in a relationship with is completely sincere. Just don’t let the guard around your heart become a wall that totally shuts people out, rather let it be a gate that keeps the wrong people out and lets the right ones in. I also feel that when it comes to vulnerability, they may have to dig for it. You can’t just jump to being vulnerable with someone you’ve only just met. Taking time to get to know someone, earns their trust and their ability to be vulnerable with you. For those with trust issues, it may be their compass in determining if you’re sincere about moving forward in a relationship or just playing games.

Most already know where I stand on sex before marriage but I’ll address it here again. Aside from being a Christian and knowing that the Bible preaches against fornication, I believe it blurs the lines and prevents you from truly getting to know the person you’re in a relationship with. Sex is very much flesh oriented and while it becomes the glue in marriage, it’s dangerous in a dating relationship because it makes it harder to determine if what you felt in the moment of heated passion is the real reason for the relationship or if there is truly a deeper spiritual connection with the one you’re with. Waiting to share this moment until after you know for sure that your relationship is God ordained makes the relationship deeper but only causes confusion if you indulge in this without first knowing if you’re truly soul or on a deeper level, spirit mates. Especially in this current age where lust, not love is the order of the day. Lust leaves you unsatisfied and heart broken in the long run because you’re always chasing after and trying to relive that last climax but love satisfies your deepest longings and brings you to a place where you no longer need to chase a feeling to be satisfied.

Lastly, love and relationships are not one size fits all and I’ve found that most people give relationship advice based on their personal experiences but what works for one, may not work for another. You have to ask for God’s wisdom in your own personal journey. Recognizing that relationships are more spiritual than physical gains you a greater understanding of why this is necessary. The physical only goes but so far but that which is spiritual endures.

Thanks in advance for reading my thoughts on relationships. If it helps just one person, then my work in sharing is done. I would love to read your thoughts as well so don’t hesitate in sharing them whether you agree or disagree with mine.